“You're Fine, But You're Simple" (On Dating the Dull & Uninformed)
During this current season of The Mindy Project in the episode entitled “Sk8ter Man” Mindy begins dating a skater in an effort to prove that she’s not a judgmental person. Now, don’t get me wrong the man is fine. Sadly he is also an utter buffoon. At one point in the episode, Mindy shrieks. “My body is attracted to you body but when you speak my brain gets angry.” I nearly died laughing. But in all seriousness it got me to thinking about how we choose relationships and companions. I thought about how draining these relationships can be if we solely base our interests off of the physical attributes of the other person. I’ve been on a few dull dates with a delicious looking gentleman who only wanted to discuss himself. He droned on and on about something that could have been explained in three minutes. My interest in the man quickly waned, and visuals of his biceps couldn’t incite me aback on a date with him. I soon began declining his invitations out.
But what if you don’t decline? Can you be so in lust with someone’s outer appearance that you can carry on with a romantic relationship with them despite the disparities in intellectual interests and conversation? I’m not saying that you have to discuss the merits of Fouquet and all that (quite frankly I still don’t get it), but you should be able to have stimulating conversations that range from debates on the best pizza in the city, to museum experiences, articles and so forth.
I was further reminded of this point a few weeks back. As I glanced about being nosey, I observed a couple. A woman scolded what I assume was her boyfriend from 125th street to Columbus Circle (59th street) like he was a child. The train was extremely crowded like it always is during rush hour, and instead of holding on to a pole this man (who was well over six feet tall) thought it was appropriate to lean against this much smaller woman. Every time the train stalled he stumbled, nearly knocking her over which in turn knocked everyone else surrounding them off kilter. He whined every time she told him to hold on (he was 30 years old at least!!). I along with everyone else on the train was flabbergasted. If you’ve gotten to the point in your relationship where you have to treat your significant other like a five-year old, I think its best that you let go and find yourself an adult.
I thought about the train couple as I went thru the rest of my day. I shuttered to think about the type of conversations that they had on a regular basis. Why was she forcing herself to deal wit this type of situation? It has to be exhausting. Not only can you not have an intellectual conversation, you also have to play someone’s parental figure. I acknowledge the fact that we are society plagued by superficial outer appearances, but at what cost? Being with someone who is fine but simple won’t do you any favors in the long run.
xoxoxo Chocolate Girl in the City xoxoxoxox