Nappy & Happy

About four months natural

Once again I have taken months off from updating :/ I'm quite sorry but it seems that my life can never normalize itself for a decent amount of time so I've spent the better part of the last two months just going through the motions.... Anywhoo, roughly a month ago now as I rocked back in forth under my desk (it was finals don't judge me). I realized that it was my one year anniversary of being natural. The best thing about remembering was that while life was busy spreading its butt hole all over me, my hair was the last thing on my mind

Let's do a quick review. For 21 years of my life, my hair was a raggedy whore, the bane of my existence. I explained this in my Big Chop Post. Last winter, I finally grew some lady balls and cut the ish off of my hair. For the first month or so I wore my hair out because I literally had no other choice, obviously I felt like an ugly boy and my self esteem was run into the grown in a way that it hadn't been since I was told being a "dark skin" female was an issue during my adolescence.

After about a month, I decided that I could not walk around  looking hideous nor could I hide in my room until my hair grew back so I got a wig made and I pretty much wore that 5 out of 7 days a week. This lasted from about January until August when everything changed. In August I took my chocolate self to Jamaica and had both a blast and a revelation.

My beateous wig. Clearly I thought that I was everything

First off there was no way I was about to lay in 85 degree weather on a glorious beach with a hot ass wig on my head. I contemplated getting braids but the horror of someone pulling my hair deterred me. Also, I wanted to buy vacation clothes more than I wanted to spend money on getting braids. Instead, I gathered my courage and my passport and took my ass on my first adult vaca with my lovely friend.

Let's just say that Jamaica was glorious, the sun, the food, the men, the drinks, the water, the men, the beach, the men LOL. I say this without an ounce of arrogance (well perhaps a little because I don't normally gloat) but I've never gotten so much attention from the male species in my Black ass life. I get the average amount of play normally but good lord. Men were stopping to say hello everywhere we went.   Dudes would stop while I was stretched on my beach chair, one of the waiters clearly wanted me to get my grove back because he stalked me the two nights we dined at the Italian restaurant at the resort and then proceeded to tell me he would follow me back to NYC. There was also the group of Black Englishmen (Idris accents on Black men yesss GAWWDDD) who accosted me in the elevator grinning at me and telling me that my hair was "radical" and that they enjoyed it immensely. Pretty much from that moment on my wig and I have broken up, save Halloween and the occasional quick errand to Trader Joes or Duane Reade.

Jamaica in August wigless and free

I know some people may think that it took attention from men to change me opinion about my hair, and I guess you can say that but, what's interesting to me is that I attract a different type of man. The type of man that seems to be genuinely interested in me and not just how that I can have the illusion of long hair. Don't get me wrong though I still envy a sickening weave and I'll probably have a couple more myself this lifetime.

I've ever felt so free in my life, I literally wash my hair once a week, twist it up, go to bed and untwist it the next day. For the remainder of the week I do NOTHING. I just wrap it in a scarf and go to bed. I've gotten it straighten and cut once and that was that. I can do my three miles at the gym jump in the shower and then go out. Its quite liberating albeit a bit boring to see the same hair day after day.

The longest my hair got 9 months natural

10 months natural post cut. She took about 4 inches off straightened and curled

With all of this being said, being natural isn't for everyone and it certainly takes some getting use to, but for me, I've never felt more like myself.

The other day :)

My Impromptu Big Chop & Why I Still Lust After Weave

So last Friday, I headed over to Brooklyn to get my naps corrected. I hadn't seen my "real" hair in some time and I hadn't seen a relaxer since early May. My hair was about to my shoulder and my goal was to continue moving forward in my transition from relaxed to natural.  I have previously discussed why I decided to transition in Why I'm Going Natural & Its Trials and Tribulations

So anywhoo, I'm sitting in my hair stylist's chair with this partially natural partially relaxed mess on top of my head while she's trying to decide what the best course of action is to take. In the styling room next to me this woman is getting this elaborate lace front (now ya"ll know I love some weave but this was like ridiculous) and she was going on and on about how she's gonna get her breasts done and get lypo, and how when she exercises she wraps her body in saran wrap. Ummmm are u Fuc**** kidding me??!!!  Don't you have kids to take care of ?! I don't mean to be rude but you look like humpty dumpty, Bassica Washington, (The definition of Bassica) talking about you wear saran wrap on the treadmill?!!!.

Ms. Bassica "I don't need to sell sex to sell my music" Hilson  SMH

As you can assume I was too outdone and I told my stylist to chop that hot broken mess off of my head. Like I've said previously me and my hair have a sordid relationship, but as much as I love my long luscious weaves, I can't wear them for the rest of my life. And lord knows I need my edges I don't have Naomi Campbell money or prestige to go around thinking I'm still flyy with my edges all Mr. Clean bald. (I'm just saying).

She's still Flyy, but I can't go out like that

Don't get me wrong, I have a bag of weave in my drawer now that I paid a pretty penny for just waiting for my hair to grow out enough to put it on. For me personally, I just think its important to be able to look at myself in the mirror exactly how God made me and like what I see. I'm also excited about the fact that since the first time since I was about 17 my hair is totally healthy.

 Women like her keep me motivated :)

I think that people are just  misinformed about natural hair because there are women with natural hair (just like with any other kind of hair) who don't even bother to pick the lint out of their hair before they leave the house. SMH. I know I was deterred for a long time, you have to take care of your hair just like you take care of your body. Now I'm not gonna pretend that once my stylist cut it all off, I wasn't trying to figure out how I could live in the salon for a year until it grew back out. I was nervous as hell, like I said I hadn't intended on cutting it and I'm pretty feminine so I was unsure about how I would be perceived by others (Black Men in particular, look I'm just tryna keep it real).  But alas, I got myself together, threw on my faux fur and my mama's old sunglasses and trekked back to Manhattan. Of course I immediately rushed to the beauty supply and bought up about every natural thing I could put my hands on. (If you are newly natural please don't do that foolishness). Of course none of that mess worked for me and I'm right back with my Shea Moisture (the pink one for curls).  One thing I will say is that my hair is super easy and I feel very free. I would say that 6 out of 7 days I'm feeling the teenie weenie fro ( however, that one day out of the week, I'm plotting the quickest way to a wig/weave/braids, etc), but its a process and I'm working on it. I'm defiantly not one of the psycho natural women who preaches to other women, you have to do what works for you, and I never said that I would never relax my hair again either. I'm sure I'll be weaved up again by March. But the point is, I did this for me and only me.

How I LOVE it!!!!!

The response that I've received has been really great and I feel really blessed to have the friends and family members that I do. ( My boo told me that it was a 7 out of 10 lmao and he never lies to me.) I am also thankful to all those who chose not to say anything because they had nothing nice to say. I'm still trying to decipher the long stares I get from Black men on the street. Hopefully its because my flyness is radiating  toward them and not that they think I look like a bald Black chicken. But if that's what they think then smh, what can I do? Its not like they don't have the same kinky curly growing out the top of their heads.

xoxoxoxo Chocolate Girl In the City xoxoxoxox PS. On a more pathetic note I literally have no more excuses when it comes to exercise other then I'm just being a lazy cow.

Why I'm Going Natural and Its Trials and Tribulations

Me and my Beloved Iggy Boy

"Grandma, your hair is kickin like Kung Fu Panda" (Iggy Boy Age 3, on seeing his Grandma's natural hair )

The creamy crack (relaxer) and I, have been in a monogamous relationship since I was twelve years old. Though my mother was hesitant, I begged and begged and I finally wore her down into letting me get a perm. Up until then, my hair was usually in french braids or micros or on special occasions, pressed and curled.

The infamous press in curl Xmas 95'

Micros

I had this idea in my head that getting my hair relaxed would somehow make it longer, or prettier, or more luxurious, or something. (IDK i was twelve, I was struggling).

Me in the Pink @ 12 yrs old. Hot mess.org

What it did however was just make me more annoyed with my hair constantly wishing it was better then it was.  I really didn't begin to understand what it meant to take care of it until my sophomore year of college (seven years later).  For the past few years there has been this movement in the Black community when it comes to women embracing their natural hair. I initially wasn't feeling it. There are crazy Black natural ninja women on You Tube who are psycho and unrelenting. Instead of talking about the positive aspects of having natural hair, they badger women who choose to put relaxer in their hair or who choose to wear weaves or wigs or whatever makes them happy. They are literally aggravating as hell, so I chose to continue to take care of my relaxed hair. However, my natural hair is very similar to how my mother's was, its not coarse at all.

MAMA (<3)

Though it's a bit difficult for me to manage because I'm not use to it, its really fairly simple to deal with it once you get the hang of it. I feel that because I have been taking fairly good care of my hair and it has yet to grow below shoulder level, that perhaps relaxer are too harsh for my hair. ( I also tend to get a bit over enthusiastic with the flat iron.) I decided to make a bold decision! I will transition my hair for a year, and see if there is any difference in the health of my hair. Since I wear sew- ins about half the time it shouldn't be a huge burden, but along the way I will be relearning my natural hair texture and if I hate it after a year then I will return to my beloved creamy crack. (Its a semi-permanent break up so to speak.) I chose not to do the big chop (cutting off all of my hair), because though I can pull off short hair I fell it may be too emotionally traumatic for me . ( And lord knows I need a break from emotional traumas.) So alas, my journey to natural has begun  (As of May 6, 2011) . I have my natural besties,  positive youtubers, my beloved weave and good products as a support system. In the end it really is just hair, and its up to each individual woman to decide what she'd personally like to do with her hair.

Here are some products that have really helped my thus far: The Shea Moisture Line

Cantu Shea Butter

Coconut Oil Wide Tooth Comb Weave :)

PS. Imma buy a box of Organics Olive Oil Relaxer just in case it gets real rough (ie. Iggy Boy comparing me to Kung Fu Panda), or if I just choose to spite some annoying ass holier then thou natural women SMH.

xoxxoxoxoxo Chocolate Girl In the City