Flip Flops Are Not Shoes and Other Things That I Believe With All My Heart
|How my sissy and I feel about nearly everything in life :) (Photo from her tumblr)|
1. FLIP FLOPS ARE NOT SHOES: There was once a time I shall admit, when I wore flip flops just like any other person. I would wear them out of the house, to the mall, to dinner, etc. But that was when I was 14. Seven years later, I can honestly say, I've worn flip flops only around my house (dorm), and to the beach, and other pool areas. There are so many beautiful shoes to be worn. (Check out endless.com and shoedazzle.com, two of my favorite shoe places). Why then people, are we wearing impossibly thin slices of rubber on our feet that give us no arch support and are about as sexy as an farting old man. Yes, I shall admit they are comfortable, but so is my large pink bonnet that i wear on my head at night and I don't subject anybody but my family to that. (Also, I own exactly one pair of gym shoes which I wear to the gym and/or my summer job which requires me to be outside all day. YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME WITH THEM ON ANY WHERE ELSE.)
2. I WILL NOT HAVE CHILDREN FOR AT LEAST 10 PLUS YEARS: I love children ....for about one hour, then their cuteness dissipates and they become annoying slobbering blobs. I shall be honest, I'm selfish I like to shop, sleep, and do what I want to do when I want to do it such as hoodrat things with my friends. Children ruin all of my favorite things and their strollers block the good makeup aisle in Sephora, Props to all those women who have, love, and care for their little ones. Just don't drop them off at my house.
3. DRIVING IS "FOR THE BIRDS" SMH: There are little activities I hate more than driving. Let me give you some background. I was a late bloomer when it came to driving. I got my license a few days before my 18th birthday and only really started driving seriously last summer. I'm a halfway decent driver but I seriously cant deal with traffic, the stop and go, paying for gas, and the other numerous ridiculous things that come with having a license and a vehicle. I'll be a passenger in some other person's ride any day.
4. THE SITCOM FRIENDS IS POSSIBLY THE DULLEST THING THAT EVER CAME ON TV: Its about as boring and as unfunny as possible, none of the characters are likeable and there was about one black person on there the entire ten years it was on the air.
5. MEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND: I understand that everything they do is motivated by their pursuit of the panties, but I'm still at a loss for what goes on in their heads.
6. DRESSING UP TO GO TO REGULAR ASS PLACES MAKES LIFE INFINITELY MORE FUN: This is basically my mantra and the mantra of my besites. I'm not quite sure how we came up with it but alas, my bestie describes such an occasion on her blog JanellofALife. Apparently I'm the worst when it comes to this as I've taken to ridiculing people who look extra regular and choose to wear things like flip flops and large white tees into decent places. Mostly its possibly because I'm bougie as hell which I admit at all times.
7. MEN OVER THE AGE OF 18 SHOULD NOT HAVE BRAIDS: I shall start by saying that this is a particular preference of mine so you are free to disagree. I just don't understand how you expect to go to work and have people take you seriously looking like a ten year old boy. I'm also turned off by any man who take more time with his appearance then I do, and who is more high maintenance then I. SMH I'm the one with the ovaries.
8. AT ANY MOMENT, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE ALONE WITH YOURSELF & LIKE THE COMPANY THAT YOU KEEP: I think as human beings we are constantly searching for someone to be there next to us whether its a significant other, child, parent, whatever. I think because of this and because of society, people forget to learn who they are as individuals and they become absorbed in some other person's life. Knowing exactly who you are and being true to that, is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Having any type of relationship that is worthwhile, healthy and meaningful will only come out of that deep understanding. Do things for yourself, have something that you love to do and as Very Smart Brothas said, "don't be infecting the dating game with your uninteresting ass e coli".
9. MY MAMA WAS THE BEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET: My mama passed away last summer from breast cancer. Its so weird when you're young, you think that your parents are invincible. As you grow older, you learn that they are only human like the rest of us. My mama taught me everything I know about life, being a woman, loving myself and the list goes on. One of the best things she ever said to me was, " when someone shows you their ass you pay attention and remember that is exactly who they are, and that's how they will always be." She also told me that fat meat was greasy, and gave me and my sister "ghetto" names that she use to holler out in the grocery store. (Mine was Cokeitha) LOL. I love you Mama
10. THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE (BESIDES FAMILY) ARE IN YOUR LIFE FOR SEASONS: In grade school when I came home everyday, I use to tell my mama what happened that day, and when I described people I use to say "my friend such and such". My mama use to say, "Girl don't you know everybody is not your friend." No truer words were ever spoken. I only have a few true friends and those people know who they are. Tryna turn you ratchet (but very fun) acquaintances into your friends is a grave mistake. You tell these tricks one thing and the next thing you know everybody and their babymama knows your business. Unacceptable.com Have fun with these people but discuss nothing except what happened on the Kardashians last week.
11. WORKING ON SATURDAYS IS THE DEVIL: So my summer job schedule is Tuesdays- Saturdays from 9-5 (except for this and next weekend when I have to work until seven BLEECH) Saturdays are meant for sleeping until one pm, lounging about in your nuddy pants, eating more then the allotted calories for the day, speeding your check at H&M, catching up on the tv you missed during the week, and MARGARITAS. Work should never be involved.
Just a few of my philosophies on life
xxoxoxoxoxoxox Chocolate Girl In the City