Black Like Me: On the 2014 Primetime Fall Television Line-Up

Growing up, I wasn't allowed to watch television on the weekdays.(My dad was African, reading was king.) Throughout elementary school I would sit on the school bus and listen to my friends go on and about what had occurred on any given show. (Did I mention we didn't have cable?......It was a pitiful existence.) I’d heard about the various cable shows of course but, I only had access to the basic networks and only on Friday evenings and Saturdays, if we were home.    

On the weekends, I was as thirsty as possible. Parched for some screen-time I often raced down the stairs  to beat my sister to the tv. I watched a ton of shows those blissful Friday evenings and Saturday afternoons of my childhood. After all, Black faces were aplenty. (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Family Matters, The Cosby Show, A Different World, Martin, Living Single, Hangin’ With Mister Cooper, The Steve Harvey Show, The Jamie Foxx Show, Good Times, etc.)

And as I got older, I got into more current shows like Moesha, Sister Sister, One on One, Half &Half, The Parkers, The Bernie Mac Show, Everybody Hates Chris, Girlfriends and The Game (pre-BET).

I watched a lot of other things too. However, I gravitated towards these particular shows because of the familiarity of the brown faces that appeared on screen. They looked like my family, like my Mama and them.  As Black people, we are not a homogenous group but there are moments, certain particularities that remain timeless and relatable.

As I moved into high school and then through college, Blackness had nearly vanished completely from both the big and small screens. Tyler Perry of course kept actors on the big screen, while period pieces and bio-pics, always found room for Black faces. (And yet as we all know, being restrained in these particular roles suffocates the black actor.)

Television however, was in even worse shape.  As I struggled with girlhood and then when puberty. I was desperate to find girls who looked like me. There was Breanna(Kyla Pratt) from One on One, Moesha (Brandy) and Vanessa (Camille Winbush) The Bernie Mac Show. However, those girls were just a bit older, a bit more refined, just a tad out of my reach.  We had Raven to go along with Lizzie McGuire, but was that enough? Not when you’re bombarded with images that are the antithesis of who you are.

I was constantly digging through the archives, working backwards to find old images of Angela Bassett or Erika Alexander. Their images weren’t always readily available; I had to be purposeful in seeking them out. It was as if we’d once again reverted to the 1960’s when everyone in a Black household went running to the television when someone Black was on screen.

Shonda Rhimes and ABC changed that first with Grey’s Anatomy(2005-) and then when she got us all together by delivering queen Olivia Pope in Scandal (2012-) And finally it seems other networks begin to follow suit.  Though it was a very short run, Megan Goode starred on NBC’s Deception(2013), and things have seems to go from there. As a television lover, I’m super excited about some of the things coming out.

I have argued with many about Black images on screen, Many people take issue with Olivia Pope’s position as a mistress, they feel that because she is one of the only Black women on screen she should be prefect (ala Claire Huxtable). However, I argue that the perfect image argument is even more tiresome then being called “chocolate” as I walk down the street.

But here’s what’s coming up in fall television.

MONDAY:

8PM EST Fox’s Gotham

This new series is a prequel to Batman. I’m not really super into the superhero world unless the man character is fine but Jada Pinkett is on TV again and that in itself is worth the look.

9PM EST Fox’s Sleepy Hollow.

Nichole Beharie is stunning; I’ve seen it for her since I was first introduced to her in Shame (2011). Though I ‘m obsessed with Buffy The Vampire Slaver and The Vampire Diaries, Sleepy Hallow isn’t necessarily my thing. Don’t get me wrong, I watched nearly half of the first season and its very well done but I guess being “grownish” I need something a tad sexier. Definitely worth the watch though.

WEDNESDAY

8PM EST NBC’s The Mysteries of Laura.  

Now this doesn’t exactly fall in line because Laz Alonzo plays Deb Messing sidekick in the show. But I shall excuse it because I live for Deb (if you haven’t seen Will & Grace then just give up on life now.) and hell I’ll watch Laz for an hour. I’m not mad at all.

9PM EST Fox's Red Band Society Based off a memoir, the story surronds a group of kids who bond during their stay at an LA hospital. Octavia Spencer stars as one of the nurses at the hospital. The story line feels a bit cheesy to me if I'm going to be honest, however Octavia can be great as long as shes not relegated to the role of "sassy" Black helper. We've seen The Help already.

9:30PM EST ABC’s Blackish

 Now, though I’m excited about this theoretically because I live for Tracee Ellis, I’m not really sure about this show. Maybe its because I feel away about Anthony Anderson, but I think the themes surrounding the show are definitely worth discussing. I’ll give it a look for sure. 

THURSDAY

8PM EST ABC’S Grey’s Anatomy

 The first of Queen Shonda’s Thursday night shows. Now I haven’t watched the show since Loretta Divine was still the Chief’s wife. I lived for it in high school but it just got to be too much for me.  Anyways’ the show is a multicultural spread . Plus there’s Jesse Williams so…yeah.

9PM EST ABC’s Scandal

Ms. Olivia Pope! When I first stumbled across this series fairly early on I knew it was something special. The fashion, the storyline, Kerry Washington herself, it was and still is all of the things. Don’t get me wrong, last season was a hot boiling mess but I’ll just chalk it up to Kerry being preggers and the writers trying to wrap things up in an eighteen-episode season. Anyway I’m still hype about it come back. (Also thank God they got rid of Columbus Short’s ridiculous ass.)

10PM EST ABC’s How To Get Away With Murder

Ya’ll Auntie Viola has her own show. She slays in general (I just saw her in The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby and she was the best part of that entire fiasco of a film.) I don’t know much about the series other than it looks amaze and Dean Thomas from Harry Potter is on it but that enough to draw me to the tv.

I would say that overall, the current fall line up is not looking too shabby. It's looking much better than last year that’s for sure. I will say this however, as Viola Davis said recently, this marginalization of Black people on screen has got to stop. We shouldn't have to go seek out premiere networks like HBO, Showtime and Starz to see images. They should be ever present ever available, just as we are in real life. Images reinforce the fact that we are real, that we are human and that our existence is just as relevant and just as valuable as others.   

xoxoxo Chocolate Girl in the City xoxoxox Will you be watching?

Saying NO to others so I can say YES to myself

(Usually I'm not too big on New Years Resolutions but there is something major that I want to work on in 2014 so I thought I'd share.)

I struggle with confrontations, I’ve pretty much always been wary of them. I tend to shut down when I’m personally confronted and I usually plot how to swiftly remove myself from any situations that I find threatening.  Now as a girl who is proudly as bougie as possible, I could chalk this all up to trying to always keep it classy. Unfortunately, being non-confrontational doesn’t always equate to avoiding messy ass situations. Instead, I’ve found that I tend to slide into a doormat or submissive (not in the kinky way) role in my relationships. This tends to lead to the very messiness that I was trying to avoid to begin with.

I’m an extravert who loves and gets along with most people so I tend to be a people pleaser. Maybe this has something to do with my birth order; I’m the older sister. However, it was my baby sister who always spoke up for us when we felt threatened or attacked.  Sister has never been afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings especially at the expense of her or my own well-being. I’m simply more sensitive in some ways, and I don’t like when people are upset especially when their wrath is directed at me.

Anyways, this whole people pleasing, always saying Yes to others, doormat shit has gotten me into pickles time and time again. I’ve always been very aware of this aspect of my personality but in 2013 it really seemed to get me into trouble.

My dad’s illness took a turn for the worst last November shortly before he passed in February. During that three-month period, I was constantly going back and forth between Chicago and New York. During the holidays last year, I found myself ripping and running across the city. I was trying to make sure that my dad had everything that he needed, that he got to his appointments on time, and so forth. Now anyone who knows me knows that coffee and I are in an unbreakable and committed relationship. Chocolate Girl does not exist without coffee. The higher my stress level, the more coffee I consume.  Needless to say I spent the majority of last winter with a near lethal amount of caffeine in my system and a coffee cup perpetually glued to my hand.  One particular day I was visiting with my Dad and one of his “people” was there as well. (Mind you I’ve met the women all of twice in my life). I had just placed my coffee cup down on the coffee table next to her crusty feet (yes her feet were on the coffee table! Where are they doing that?!))  when she politely told me, “Aramide, I would prefer that you did not drink coffee”…..

Needless to say I was flabbergasted. Luckily my sister was not present for this incident, for I am certain that things would have taken quite a poor turn rather quickly. I didn’t respond at all. I just picked up my cup and drank. (I had nothing kind to say so I chose to say nothing all. My mama raised me right).

(This incident reminds me of the day I graduated from undergrad and my dad’s sister asked when I was getting married, because I was getting up in age and marriage was something that I ought to be considering. -_-)

Still, the coffee incident was only the beginning.   A few months later, one of my family members gave me a full ass lecture about my dating life. (I was dating an older man, who treated me well and respected me.) Meanwhile the family member’s love life was literally Hiroshima. Think of some of the most foolish Maury shit you’ve ever seen and go with that. (I just listened to the lecture and said nothing; once again my sister was not present.)

 After my dad passed, I had people lie to my face about taking my dad’s money and electronics. I got a lecture about my father’s tombstone because I didn’t have it put in on someone else’s timeline. I was TOLD, to just let else someone handle it. (Of course I kept it cute when I politely refused). This is after his entire funeral was arranged without any consultation with my sister or myself. This kind of stuff always gets filtered my way because Sister refuses to deal with foolery, and people know well enough not to fu*k with her.

Anyways after ending my first full year of grad school I headed home to clean my parents house out which was in a shitastic state. My mom passed in August of 2010 and we had never cleaned her things out of the home. Over the years my dad kept bringing more and more stuff into the house. So here we were parentless with 20plus years of life to clean out of a home.  Sister and I would get up every morning and clean and organize and by the end of the day it still looked like we hadn’t done anything at all. We were drowning both physically and emotionally. It was sister who finally said: FUCK THIS! THIS IS SHIT & WE DON’T HAVE TO DEAL! She  then informed the powers at be was going to happened. And I picked up the phone and called 1800JUNK.

This only happened because sister was there. Had it been me, I would have probably still been cleaning. Instead because sister said NO to others and YES to our well being. The house has been sold for months now.

Still with that example fresh in my brain I returned to New York still struggling with my ability to be bold, stand up and say NO. Instead, I found myself continually cornered. I let people invade my space when I didn’t want them there and I found myself in situations I would rather not be in.  I have a fear of hurting people’s feelings.  As I placed myself in situation after situation and after being irritated and annoyed, I’ve finally decided that I will no longer force myself to suffer. I shall move forward into 2014 grasping onto the word NO!

No, you cannot come into my apartment and use my space without asking. No I don’t want to go hang out with people I’m sure I won’t enjoy, No I don’t need you to make major decisions about my life I’m pretty sure I have that covered. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not mean and pissy about it but I recognize that part of being an adult is doing what the F I want, when the F I want to do it. I’m not perfect and I can still find myself in prickly situations but when I do the only person that I can blame is myself.  Meanwhile, I shall live my life according to my own terms and not allow myself to be conned into foolery

Happy New Year xoxoxox Chocolate Girl In the City

PS. My other “Resolutions”: Stop obsessing about my weight, travel more (not just to Chicago), date more.