My Fear Of Being Stuck
I love Chicago, its where I was born, where I was raised, this city had a profound impact on who I am as a woman and I'm always thrilled when my plane lands at the Midway airport and I get my first sniff of that Chicago air. My mama was born and raised her and she died here, there's so much history in this city for me. However, I think the profound thing about my mother and her life is that she was able to leave the city experience everywhere and everything in between. She lived in Cali for a huge portion of her life and she traveled everywhere. She use to tell me that when I was little, I was always tryna get away from here, always grabbing my coat to go with whomever was leaving the house, telling her, "I'll be back". And I guess I've always felt that way, I never wanted to be tied down here. Home and family will always here when you return. Moving to NYC alone for school was one of the scariest things I've ever done but I wouldn't change it. I couldn't see living my entire life in the 773, there's way to much to experience in the world. I also think the best part of coming home is because you're nostalgic for what you haven't seen in a while.
I was thinking about this post because of a convo I was having with my bestie and because of a guy who was once extremely important to me. I find more and more that people get caught up and their dreams get derailed for one reason or another, (they have kids, come home and never leave, let people with no ambition back into their lives, they just get stalled). I was always frightened of that because I know where I want to be in my life and I know what I want to do and what I want to see. Being stuck here was never part of the plan, I never want to be stuck in a place doing the same old shit because I was comfortable. I know some people might think I'm being harsh but to me, being stuck in this small area would be a waste for me. Katt Williams said in one of his stand ups that you should always be striving to do better and better, you shouldn't be on what you were on last year. I've always had this drive to do better for myself, to do better then my parents did and not waste the opportunities that I was given.
I think nowadays people get too caught up on what they're use to and that can be very dangerous. Even though home is where you're loved the most, it'll always be here when you're ready to return.
xoxoxoxox Chocolate Girl In the City xoxoxoxoxox